Naptime with Caribou (Boooo) and Bear (BRAWWWWR) are so lovely and easy here lately! // Our first real outing- Mother’s Day park picnicNURSING: I’ve been reading through my old journal lately (so fun!) and found an entry from the breastfeeding class I took around 27 weeks. I talked about how there was a lot more to breastfeeding that I’d expected and that it might be harder than I’d thought, but that I was determined to make it work any ways. I am so, so curious to see how it goes this time around. It’s so weird to think about starting to nurse again!
I think a lot about how it’ll go when both children need me at once. Sometimes the toddler will be asking for a snack after I’ve just started a nursing session or will need a diaper change in the middle. I imagine I’ll just have to assess the situation each time and “pick” which child’s needs are more pressing.
NAPS: Naps are still working out wonderfully, knock on wood. For a while he would try to bargain with us at bedtime to sleep in our bed. Now we each read him a book and then we say our prayers, then we have to be a little persistent to get him to hug and kiss us goodnight because he’s already grabbed his pillow and headed towards his own bed. He loves sleeping there so much that even though we always let him sleep in our bed at naptime he has started to do the same thing and go straight for his own bed as soon as I’ve finished reading him stories! I had been lying down with him again since it’s most comfortable for me on my nights (Ryan and I have been taking turns at night so that we get free time every other night while there’s still time) and Ryan always just lies in bed and reads when he tucks him in so now he’s back into the habit of only going to bed with us lying in our bed next to him, especially at naptime.
NOSTALGIA: I’m feeling very protective of our little trio right now. When most families tell stories, they talk about times when they had all of their children… or the story will start with “A year or two before Billy was born…” and that makes me feel sad. I have loved these last 20 months with all of my heart and it makes me so sad to think I’ll kind of disregard them in the future! I know that’s a silly way to think of it and I know that I don’t really care and am just hormonal… but still, I am just trying to soak up these last few weeks of family-of-three because we’ll never again have them back! I think about so many fun memories we’ve made together and I just want to remember and enjoy them forever, to always look back on them fondly even though our baby girl wasn’t in them yet.
Other things I’ve been up to lately:
Finishing up the packing of our hospital bag (headband from this Etsy shop) // constantly telling my little guy what things are called as he points and says “Mem?” while looking at me quizzically. // soaking up special moments with my little man and feeling 50% desperate for them to never change, 50% impatient to experience them with his baby sister beside us // gazing lovingly at my sewing station thanks to Ryan getting some things hung up for me // craving nothing at all, and in fact even being a little grossed out by most foods again. Ryan was bringing home a brownie (normally my favorite) a few nights ago and I told him, “I think I must be in labor. All I could think about was biting into a thick, dense brownie and how disgusting that sounded.” // Reading up a storm! Our library is awesome and offering a family winter reading program right now. We all get to participate together and our prize at the end is a family swim pass, plus two new books for the little guy. // Dying. For a few days I’ve had intense cramping, painful but irregular contractions, and general soreness + exhaustion. I’m not really sleeping because I’m in pain and uncomfortable no matter what position I get into, which means I spend each day in this weird fog. I am starting every morning and ending every evening with a warm bath (and a chapter of Call the Midwife) right now, plus usually taking one or two during the day too. I feel like a terrible wife and mother, but it’s where I am now!
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