Ryan has an odd work schedule and doesn’t get every weekend off. It’s very strange to me to think that this past weekend was most likely our second to last (or even last?) full weekend together as a family of three.
It had me feeling very pensive and nostalgic because I can’t quite imagine how things are going to be for the first few weeks after the baby comes. I know that eventually they’ll be just like this, but with one more special loved one in the mix. We’ll wear her on our chests or strap both children into a stroller and walk to the park or around the library, Ryan will take the toddler and I’ll take the baby when it’s time for public diaper changes, we’ll get two high chairs when we decide to eat lunch out-and-about. We’ll still take mini weekend trips to checkout a nearby town and we’ll just know it might take us twice as long to get there.
The first few weeks, though, are what I have trouble imagining. One minute I picture us all snuggled up in bed reading books and singing songs while I nurse… and then the next minute I remember that we’ll have to go to the bathroom, the babies will need new diapers, we’ll need to get up to eat and brush our teeth and start a load of laundry.
The toddler will get stir-crazy, as he is wont to do, and Ryan will take him to the library or park or hardware store while I stay home with the baby. I’ll probably feel half jealous that I don’t get to go out and do something fun with the toddler, half relieved that it’s quiet and calm and just-us, whole guilty for feeling both feelings.
So for now, I am just doing my best to stay in the present moment and enjoy our life for what it is right now.
Right now it is comprised of all three of us reading Red Truck in bed and feeling the squirms and kicks in my 35-week belly. It’s good books and warm baths to soothe my aching back while my guys giggle in the background, block towers begging to be knocked down, trips to Walmart/Target/Lowe’s because I’ve just got to get up and walk around but it’s a little too cold outside for the little guy. It’s reading a Hardy Boys mystery out loud while the little man colors in his coloring book, knitting a baby sweater while he sleeps, adding items to our hospital bag list, homemade strawberry milkshakes and pipe-dreaming with my best friend in all the world. It’s being us and gliding through our comfortable routine together with the knowledge that it’s all about to change… and with the knowledge that even though that can sometimes seem scary, it’ll be beautiful and wonderful and our only regret will be not having done it sooner.