Just a few updates from life lately...
1. I'm six weeks postpartum in just a few days but instead of being out hiking and doing all the fun and exciting activities I'd planned to be doing by now, I'll still be resting on the couch with Veggie Tales and a good book. (Current fiction, current non-fiction)
I did too much too soon and caused myself a little set-back. So here's your lesson, pregnant/newly-postpartum ladies: Just take it easy. It's only six weeks. You'll be glad you did.
2. We've started a new business venture, in the form of a blog. Go check it out if you're at all interested in seeing our travels around the country and the gluten free foods we find along the way! www.GFAmerica.us , Facebook, Instagram
3. We got our packed on Ayingeneye and I wanted to share some things with you here, pictured above. I'm writing her another letter, which I plan to send out Friday, and I'd love to have some notes from some of you to share in it! If you're interested in sending her either a full letter or just a few lines for us to put in another letter, please send it to SKBell36 (at) gmail (dot) com!
4. I feel like I can basically say that our days have fallen into a routine now. Two Under Two is no longer daunting until 6pm (and then it's MEGA daunting). We are slower and take a lot longer, but we are now basically back to our pre-new-baby system. I read out loud or sing songs when I nurse (which isn't making me nearly as tired now), and the toddler is somehow extremely understanding about the fact that Mama isn't going to stop and get him whatever he wants unless it's really important. There are definitely times we expect a bit too much from him though and Ryan and I occasionally have to remind each other, "He's one. He's still a baby too!" In general though, things are good. Great, even. Busy and exhausting and beautiful. =]
5. But don't get me wrong. It's still really, really hard sometimes.
6. Sometimes I look at Ryan or our children, or all three if I get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, and my chest physically aches from all the love I feel. It's amazing. I sometimes wonder if Ryan will still remind me of summer and youth and campfires when we're 40, 50, 60, 70 years old. Not every day, I know, but will I always feel this slight ache of joy in my heart when he smiles at me a certain way or when I walk in on a sweet moment between him and our babies?
I've decided YES. I'm just going to stay madly in love with him and still sometimes feel butterflies forever and ever. Life is too short not to feel these amazing, crazy feelings over my special sweetheart and the family we've created together.
This weekend we took a spontaneous trip and I was having a lot of back pain so took a quick bath. When I came out I felt like my heart was just going to burst out of my chest at the sight of him cradling our girl and giggling with our boy. It's like we're a puzzle or something. Nobody could fill up my heart so perfectly. All of my favorite memories of the past are of Ryan and these babies. My favorite version of right now includes Ryan and our babies. All of the moments I get excited about in the future involve Ryan and our children.
I believe in soul mates and I have always believed that Ryan and I are soul mates. We talk about it sometimes and wonder what life would look like if we'd never met. Would we be single and longing for each other without knowing it? Would we be married but secretly feeling like something was missing? Would we realize we weren't with the person we were meant to be with at all, or would we somehow be happily oblivious?
Sometimes I type things like that and then think, "Erase that. People are going to think you are on drugs." I hope it doesn't come across that way. Sadly, this is just an average day for me. I'm constantly tearing up and catching my breath and thinking all these weirdly deep thoughts. I am like the universe's epicenter for emotion. I hold it all, all at once.